Why They Won’t Let Us Marry

MindSpaces
5 min readNov 2, 2024

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It seems like just yesterday when I wrote this other article about “Same-Sex Marriage” on Medium. It brought to my notice just how easy it can be to accommodate a same-sex marriage. Simply put, just like many inter-faith marriages, let same-sex couples register their marriage under the Special Marriage Act. Yes, it can be that easy.

Then why wouldn’t ‘they’ let us marry?

A still from the movie, ‘Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan’

[They = anyone who is against same-sex marriage
Us = anyone who might want to marry their same-sex partner, or just would like to have the right to]

So, if legally registering a ‘non-heterosexual’ marriage can indeed be so simple, why is same-sex marriage not that easy? Why doesn’t the world support us with the zest they do the heterosexual wedding?

I don’t even know where to start this from… so I’m just going to ask you — the reader — to recall what Indian weddings are all about. Take a minute and think.
What are Indian weddings all about and what would be so wrong if homosexuals came to be wed like heterosexuals?

“They get property buddy, they get each and every thing in the house — even the mixer!”

Recently I was made aware of this crazy thing where PEOPLE GET YOU MARRIED literally. Wo log sahi mei aapka ghar basa ke dete hai.

If you’re a typical middle-class person, like the many I know, then this might not be entirely true for you; but parts of it, surely will be. And if you’ve observed the weddings of the ‘rich’ or the ‘poor’, then definitely more than just a few parts will be relatable.

So, Indian weddings are all about getting two people (at times, strangers) together, and your entire family will make it happen. Right from saving for your marriage, taking loans perhaps, to spending lakhs and lakhs of money when the time does arrive. Then, the elusive DOWRY. I know dowry isn’t legal, but I have seen few “LOVE-MARRIAGES” taking place without an exchange of dowry (quoted as ‘GIFTS’), then you can guess how it must be for arranged marriages. Then the array of actual GIFTS from the people who come to attend the wedding. Cash, or kind in the form of your home appliances, wall-hangings and what not. Sometimes, ‘gifts’ from parents also consists of ‘property’ or a flat to move into. Then of-course the HONEYMOON.

Let me just take a moment to Google what Honeymoon actually means. In my understanding, today, it’s a paid attempt to make two people fuck. I mean, we traditionally had joint families or villages, and probably that’s why couples are sent away so that they may copulate in peace — and do that repeatedly with no house-work or job to do. And yes, I can safely say that in many rich and poor families, families are paying for it (the honeymoon).

So basically, are you able to see what I was able to see in the moment my friend broke it to me when she said, and I quote again — “They get property buddy, they get each and every thing in the house — even the mixer!”

Somewhere hidden deep under all these activities is the reason they’re not letting the homosexuals marry.

Case in Point:
[and because now i will speak from the bottom of my heart, or the bottom of my frustrations, here’s a little Hindi for all]

  • Kya aap dekh pa rahe hai, jo hum dekh pa rahe hai?
  • Kya aap dekh pa rahe hai ke humare jo vese shaki ma-baap hai, humari untrusting society hai wo ek din ek ‘panditji’ ko bula ke ek random tareeq pakki kar dete hai apke coming together ke liye jab aapki shaadi hogi?
  • Fir wo aapki shaadi pe andhadhun kharcha aur mehnat karte hai. Apko bhi ek naya jazba dete hai — aapko patla hone ki prerna di jaati hai, haldi se nikhara / disinfect kia jaata hai.. waxing, bleaching… abhi bhi samajh nahi aa raha kya ho raha hai?
  • Apke liye naye naye kapde, makeup, grooming…. fir aapki dowry ya dahej… I mean no comments on the cash, but the car, the furniture, and all the other things that come in the dowry or ‘gifts’… sometimes even a house…these are all propagating two people to come together, settle in a house, go to a honeymoon, copulate, and then have enough resources to be able to head-start a family.

Can you now see it?

They’re not letting Homosexuals get ‘wedded’ because they cannot copulate or produce progeny or have a child!

Can you now see how stupid it can make some people look? They’re doing all this drama just to keep their lineage going…and for what? What is their lineage really worth? Indians don’t want to support gay-marriage because they themselves don’t know why they have this crazy zest for any marriage… and more importantly, why this zest cannot be enjoyed when two people of the same sex come together to be wed? We’re merely puppets trying to propagate our lineage and have become so blinded by it that we’re following stupid traditions just to get two people to have sex, and when it is not people of the opposite sex having sex, we won’t let them get married only (because they can’t have children).

Kyunki law to maan jaega, but uske baad how will Indians answer to the bigotry of spending so much time, money, effort, emotion for a heterosexual marriage (of their child), but not the same for a homosexual one? How will they justify their so-called ‘humanity’ when they see homosexual individuals struggling to find a house on rent, while they’re giving away property to their heterosexual counterparts. How will they justify turning a blind-eye to the homosexual couples trying to get a head-start on their home, where not only does no-one really gift them anything to make their lives easier, but doesn’t even celebrate their coming together, without they ever asking for anything more.

They’re not ‘not-letting-us-marry’ because it is against the law of nature. NO! they’re not letting us marry because of their own stupidity of just trying to propagate their own lineage blindly, not even knowing why they’re doing what they’re doing… and because being confronted with this stupidity would be an uncomfortable thought for so many.

If you’re a straight person reading this, think of one good reason why two people of the same sex shouldn’t get married, and why their wedding may not be celebrated with the same zest, with the same dramas, with the same broadcasting and announcements that a wedding of two people of the opposite sex is celebrated with?

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